no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Please don't give away my fajitas
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
