There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
BRING THE BAGELS
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
