I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
