where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
