look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
