Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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