I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
