it wasn't lemon gatorade
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
