Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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