I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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