DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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