So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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