That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
