he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
