Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
