dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
