i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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