I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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