Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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