VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
