apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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