i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
