Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
