you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
