I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
