If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
