we have officially lost it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
