Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
