i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
