Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
