her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
