i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
