i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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