"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
