i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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