Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
