Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
