I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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