I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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