So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
