WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
