Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
