You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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