We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
