morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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