haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Boobs are out for the taking
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
