Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
