Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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