u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
