I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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