Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
