He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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