I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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