their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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