he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
