Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
